Don't Come Back
by ScatterSunshine56
Summary: The Once-ler is on top and Thneed Inc. is flourishing. But when his father suddenly makes an unexpected appearance to the factory, the Once-ler must not only face the person who abandoned him but also decide if he's ready to forgive and forget. (serious trigger warning)
1. Part 1

AN: This story will be three chapters long. I feel like I should give a trigger warning for the second chapter, but I'm not really sure for what. Daddy issues? I admittedly felt pretty triggered writing this, regardless of daddy issues.

I should also say here that I don't actually believe the Once-ler's dad would ever come back to see him if he had left. In fact, I don't really believe he left. I personally think he died. BUT fanfiction is here to fulfill our need to hypothesize and fantasize, and I'm guilty of that. Enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: The Lorax belongs to Dr. Seuss and Illumination Entertainment.

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Don't Come Back

Part 1

The Once-ler's meeting room was even bigger than his office, but the large oversized oak table in the center always made it feel so small and cramped. With only a small scrape of his chair, he readjusted his long, rather stiff legs and leaned back, nearly hitting the wall behind him. Bored and sleepy-eyed, he allowed his eyes to dart across the room, taking in the fine upholstered seating, rich red curtains, fine expensive carpet and impressive cross-vaulted arches, an enormous crystal chandelier tinkling softly above them, sparkling in the dim light from the window.

It really was all very impressive, the Once-ler thought absently to himself as he leaned forward again, tearing himself from his observations to focus his attention on the man sitting directly across from him.

"...if we could get this plan squared by this Thursday, we could begin preparations no later than April,"the man was saying, looking at the Once-ler in a way that expected an answer.

"No,"the Once-ler answered immediately, "I want this done by tomorrow, and I will look over the plans myself if it means we can get plans done no later than March."

"Sir, that sounds...a little unreasonable."

"Not if I'm supervising,"he retorted.

"I beg your pardon, sir, but it just seems unrealistic for a businessman like yourself to supervise an entire construction plan of this magnitude,"the second man said, exchanging a skeptical look with his partner, "It would be much more prudent to let a professional do the job."

"You don't think I'm capable?"the Once-ler said, quirking an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't say that, sir. It's just you're so, uh..."

"Young?"the Once-ler finished, unsmiling.

"Maybe not...the most experienced in _this _field,"he amended with an apologetic smile. Long fingers rapped at the desk, his face serious and composed as he spoke.

"I designed this entire factory from floor to ceiling. I built every machine here myself, installed everything the factory needs, and still had time to run a business without breaking a sweat. And you really think a few building designs half the size of my factory are going to be too much for me?" Both men stared blankly at the Once-ler, eyes wide with amazement.

"By all means, sir,"the first finally said, folding his hands nervously together, "I can have a contract drawn up by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you,"the Once-ler replied cordially, leaning back in his chair as he sifted through a few forms on his desk, "Now, while we're here we should discuss"-

"Mr. Once-ler?" The two men jumped at the sound of a woman's voice seemingly coming out of the walls. Her voice was slightly muffled, as if it was being filtered through a speaker.

The Once-ler, unsurprised, sighed lightly, excused himself from the table and grudgingly stood up, going over to the side of a wall and pressing a small back button on the intercom.

"I'm in a meeting,"he grumbled into the receiver, tension and annoyance dripping from his voice.

"Sir, there's a Mr. Theodore here to see you,"his secretary's voice said back.

"I don't know any Theodore's,"the Once-ler snapped, growing impatient, "Please have him wait in the lobby for me like you would for _any_ of my clients, if you will. Otherwise, please tell him to leave."

"Sir, he says he's your father."

The silence that suddenly fell over the room was nearly tangible, crushing the green-clad man with the weight of everything that that one sentence could possibly mean, spreading from the tips of his fingers trickling down to his toes until his body feel like lead. He felt the puzzled stares from his two guests on his back as the silence dragged on and it slowly became painfully obvious that their host was deeply affected by this news. His lungs gave out, and he suddenly remembered how to breathe. He slowly opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again when he realized that no sound was coming out.

Slowly he managed to raise a shaking hand up to that little black button, pushing it down, willing words to come out when he knew they wouldn't. The intercom buzzed loudly as his secretary waited patiently for his answer, but still the Once-ler didn't let go of the button. Not until he had managed to clear his throat and hide the tremor. Not until he was sure he was composed enough to be able to speak with the same professional tone he was accustomed to using to hide his insecurities. There was nothing wrong. Nothing out of the ordinary. You can get through this.

"Alright...Please...have him wait for me in my office, if you would,"he finally said, his voice low and surprisingly calm as he finally released the button, pausing a moment so he could find where his legs were. He took one shaky step forward, his head spinning as he turned back to the two men still sitting at the table, staring at the Once-ler with a perplexed yet surprisingly concerned look on their faces.

The Once-ler was silent as he somehow found his way back to his chair, his eyes glazed and unfocused as he fought to keep his poker face, his whole body shaking and sweating as if he were suffering from a severe anxiety attack. He probably was.

"...Sir? You don't look well. Would you like to postpone?"one of his guests finally asked, the first to break the silence. The Once-ler shook his head slowly. Or at least, he thought he did.

"Mr. Once-ler, it's not a problem at all. We can continue tomorrow. You look ill."

"No." The Once-ler hated that he could barely speak. His words meant to come out sharp, commanding, reflecting the seriousness with which he upheld himself and his job. But all that came out was the voice of a child, meek and scared and shaking with the mere idea that his father, the source of so many fears, so many nightmares, so many unanswered questions, was lurking somewhere in his own factory.

"No,"he repeated, his voice only slightly remedied, "We continue." He felt ridiculous, he thought as he pretended to be preoccupied straightening the papers on his desk, his hands clearly shaking and his poker face already beginning to falter. He felt exposed, vulnerable to older, more experienced eyes and minds that secretly thought, no matter how hard he tried to prove otherwise, that he was still a child. And he was, he admitted shamefully to himself as he attempted to fold his hands over the desk, weak eyes and shaking hands betraying his insecurities that he liked to make believe weren't there.

"We're really already finished, 've already sent us the details of what you want in the contract, and we'll be sure to have it on your desk first thing in the morning." The Once-ler said nothing, eyes glazed and unfocused, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"Uh...sure. Alright,"he answered lamely, again shuffling with his papers with nothing else better to do, eyes darting anxiously around the room as he looked for something else to distract himself with since the meeting was obviously over.

"I take it you...haven't seen your father in a long time?"the second man spoke. The Once-ler hesitated, steadying himself.

"I, uh, no. No, no I haven't,"he replied breathlessly, long legs reaching the door before either men had even closed their briefcases, "Do you need assistance finding your way out, gentlemen?"

"Oh, no, no, sir, we'll be fine,"his guest said with a grateful smile. The Once-ler couldn't help but feel disappointed as he led them to the end of the hall, concentrating on simply not dragging his feet as one of them rambled on about something he was trying to tune out. He laughed when the other did, nodded and mumbled the appropriate phrases when he was expected to, but otherwise kept unusually quiet. By the time they were both gone, the Once-ler was in a cold sweat.

"Is he already in there?"he asked from across the hall, practically sprinting to his secretary's desk. The young woman peered up at him through thick round glasses, surprised to see her boss so disheveled.

"Yes, sir. He's waiting inside for you,"she answered patiently, raising an eyebrow as the man leaned forward slightly, his hands gripping the desk tightly.

"What did he say? What did he want?"he asked, his voice high, almost hysterical.

"I don't know - he just came in and said he was looking for a Mr. Once-ler. I asked him if he had an appointment, and he said he didn't but that he was your father and that he wanted to speak to you. I told him he'd have to wait, but he persisted. That's when I called you." The Once-ler stared at his secretary, wide-eyed and horrified.

"Did he...did he look like me?'he asked slowly, barely breathing.

"Oh yes, sir. He could have passed as your twin if it weren't for all that gray hair,"she answered, peering up at him through those large glasses, "You haven't seen him in a while, have you, sir?" The Once-ler didn't respond, spinning once in place as if he didn't know which direction to choose.

"Oh gosh...oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh...,"he whispered quietly to himself, a hand fisting through his hair as he roughly shoved himself away from the desk, taking to pacing instead, "What do I do? What do I DO?"

His secretary couldn't help but stare, watching the man who carried himself with such obscenely delusional self-importance unravel at the seams, looking suddenly like a frightened child playing dress-up in a fancy green suit.

"Why don't you just go see what he wants?"she suggested quietly after a moment.

"N-no, I-I can't!"he said, turning back to her, his hands still in his hair, knocking that ridiculously tall hat askew.

"Do you want my opinion, sir?"his secretary asked carefully, not really sure how she should be reacting to her own boss' emotional breakdown. The Once-ler stared at her, then at his office door, then back at her. Finally he nodded vigorously.

"First of all, I think you need to take a few deep breaths and calm down, or else you're going to go bald prematurely,"she said, waiting until the Once-ler's hands had lowered to continue, "Second, I think there's a lot to be said by the fact that he came to you. I don't know your relationship with your father, sir, but I can't imagine he would be willing to speak face to face if it wasn't for something good." The Once-ler stared blankly at her for a moment, uncomprehending.

"Think about it. Would he come here of his own free will if he thought something bad would come out of it?"

"I-I don't know,"he answered truthfully, lowering his gaze.

"I don't think he would,"his secretary said with a gentle smile, "I think if he wanted to make you feel afraid to talk to him, he would have called." The Once-ler was quiet for a while as he thought about this.

"You're right,"he said finally, looking up, "This can only be a good thing." She offered him a sincere smile, glancing over at his office door with him.

"You'll be fine,"she assured him, "Just say what you both need to say." The Once-ler nodded absently.

"Thank you,"he said, and he truly meant it, "I feel stupid for not remembering your name, but"-

"Norma,"she interrupted with another bright smile, "That's alright, sir."

"Um...I'm sorry to keep bothering you,"he said with a nervous laugh, "But do I...look okay?" Norma tipped her head to the side as she looked him down, then suddenly rose to her feet and came around to the other side of the desk.

"You got your tie all crooked,"she commented lightly as she reached up to adjust it, "And you might want to readjust your hat there." The Once-ler complied quickly, his cheeks painted a light pink at how close she suddenly was.

"Take deep breaths,"she reminded him, "Try to calm down. You're still shaking." The Once-ler obeyed, closing his eyes and allowing a few deep inhales to pass before his shoulders relaxed.

"That's better,"she said, stepping back.

"Thank you,"he said again with a grateful smile. Norma returned the smile, nodding slightly.

"Good luck, sir." The Once-ler nodded stiffly, hesitating just a moment longer before finally turning and making his way slowly down the hall to the door of his office.

The Once-ler paused just outside, sucking in a deep breath and closing his eyes. Slowly exhaling, he let his hands fall calmly at his sides, tilting his chin a little higher, straightening his tie. He was the Once-ler, the CEO of Thneed Inc. Whoever was waiting for him behind that door wasn't going to get to him.

The door fell open a little too easily, and the Once-ler had no choice but to step inside to face the man that was leaning against the side of his desk, long arms folded across his chest as he turned to face his son.


	2. Part 2

AN: I really, really need to reiterate this trigger warning. This chapter is as tense and discomforting as the situation implies, and it took a really long time to write because frankly it made ME uncomfortable.

There's a small part 3 that I have planned for the sake of closure, but I won't be able to get it up until Sunday, Tuesday at the latest. Sorry :(

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Don't Come Back

Part 2

The Once-ler made sure to close the door behind him before he finally turned around to face the stranger, lips squeezed tightly closed and hands pinching the sides of his pants as a set of blue eyes identical to his own locked with his. Dark hair with streaks of aged gray framed a round face similar to his own, darker-toned and significantly older than the face from his memories. The man was made of long, toned limbs, an over-worn suit hanging loose from his obscenely tall, thin body. There were distinguishable differences, but the Once-ler still felt the impression that he had just walked in front of a mirror.

"...Dad?"the Once-ler finally spoke, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. The man standing across from him cracked a small smile.

"...Hey, Son,"he said, and just like that, the Once-ler felt something in him release with a lowering of the shoulders, that deep husky voice that he only remembered from his memories the only thing he needed to know that this person was real, that this person was not a ghost, but real and_ there_.

A blank stare was all he could manage to offer the stranger, his arms pressed firmly at his sides and his face utterly vacant. This was the part when he was supposed to suddenly know what to do. But he just stared at him, letting the silence brew uncomfortably between them before his father finally spoke.

"Well, it's been, what? Twelve years?"he asked with a cautious smile, "Can I get a hug?" He didn't dare move until the Once-ler had slowly, unsurely nodded, as if he hadn't quite decided if this was okay with him or not. But then suddenly his father's arms were around him, warn and secure as a parent's arms should be. His face pressed close against him, breathing in the husky scent of the man that he had so long ago forgotten. He hesitantly leaned in, slowly bringing up his own arms to return the embrace.

It didn't take long for the Once-ler to realize that they were there like that longer than normal. Neither tried to move away, both silently acknowledging how much they had secretly missed one another, regardless of the pain and regret behind that truth. For right now, though, things were okay.

"Once-ler...,"his father finally breathed, leaning back so he could take his son's face in his hands, "Look at you." The Once-ler allowed a small smile to creep up on his face, only because the look his father gave him radiated clear and genuine pride, and he would be lying if he said that wasn't what he had always secretly hoped for.

"You're so tall now,"he teased with a small laugh, "You used to always say that you would never be as tall as me."

"That, or you shrunk,"the Once-ler answered, finally managing to find his voice, unable to help the slight straightening of his back so that they were level.

"I'd believe it,"he said, and his laugh this time came a little more naturally.

"I can't believe you found me,"the Once-ler said quietly.

"Well how many Once-ler's out there run major companies and look as good as _my _son does?"he teased, placing his hands gingerly on his shoulders, "Look at you. I just can't believe grew up to be such a handsome young man." He leaned in to hug him again, this time without permission, and it was only then that the Once-ler realized with a sinking feeling that the last time he had hugged his father like this, he barely came up to his waist. There was miles of distance between them, empty space that he hadn't grown into. He didn't belong here. He didn't fit as seamlessly into his father's arms as he used to.

He had literally grown out of his own father.

"Um...,"the Once-ler murmured awkwardly the moment he pulled away, still at a loss for what to say or do. He felt his face heat up, and quickly he tore himself away, going to put his hat on the desk for lack of anything better to do.

"Um...thanks,"he mumbled awkwardly, staring down at the ground to avoid looking his father in the eye, "Um...have you seen everyone else already, or..."

"I...didn't know they were here,"he said softly in reply, a little put off by the weakness in his son's voice. What was that look on his face? Guilt? Shame? Did he know that he was the source of that weakness?

"Yeah. Everyone's here. Even Uncle Ebb and Aunt Grizelda. They all have jobs here and...I'm taking care of them." Silence fell between them, both unwilling to acknowledge the slight accusation behind that statement. The Once-ler really hadn't meant it like that, though. He hadn't known what to expect before he came in the door, but now that he was here and actually forced to accept the situation, he realized he liked the idea of their first encounter being nothing but soothing words and fond embraces. He wanted to hang onto this moment just a little while longer. Embrace the peace before the storm.

"I'm glad,"his father finally said, his voice soft and sincere. The Once-ler nodded absently.

"So...CEO, huh? When did that happen?"he asked, laughing lightly. Small talk. The person who had literally uprooted his entire life was standing six feet away from him and seriously trying to make small talk.

"Uh, well...you know Mom, she's never really been one to put up with my eccentric creativity. But I really felt like I had something with my Thneed, so...I convinced her to let me leave home so I could go chase down the right material for it,"he explained with a light shrug of the shoulders, "And I found it. And...people like it, apparently."

"They do, indeed,"he said with another forced laugh, "I have four already, you know. Brag about it all the time." The Once-ler glanced up when he said this, a knot forming in his stomach. For some reason all he could imagine was his father standing outside of a shop, waving a pink Thneed wrapped around his neck and bragging to everyone that would listen that these wonderful things the world was so fond of were _his_ son's invention. And suddenly the Once-ler felt angry.

His father seemed to notice the anger that flashed through his son's eyes and quickly tried to remedy his mistake.

"I'm sorry. That was a dumb thing to say,"he apologized softly. The Once-ler shifted uncomfortably, feeling a hard lump form in his throat as he turned away, looking everywhere but at the person looking at him.

"Um...so...what have you been up to?"he asked slowly, rubbing nervously at his arm, glancing up at his father like a shy child meeting a stranger for the first time. Now it was his father's turn to look uncomfortable, shifting his weight like people do when they're trying to hide a secret.

"Um...well...for a while I was just trying to find work whenever I could. Odd jobs, really. I take what I can. Invent on the side. Nothing ever really comes out of it, though." The Once-ler said nothing, only stared and blinked. His mother had always told him that his father was a sort of a bum, but as a child he couldn't - wouldn't believe her. As an adult, though, he could read between the lines well enough.

"Then one day I saw your ad on the tv,"he continued, oblivious to his son's observations, "There were so many times I had considered trying to find you, but I never knew where to look. It seemed like destiny. I didn't know if I would ever know where to look again, so...here I am,"he finished with a nervous laugh. The Once-ler was quiet for a moment, a slight frown twisting his features. It was a safe, suspicious answer - and clearly not the real one.

"We never moved out of that old house. You could have started there,"he said finally, his voice again coming out softer than he wanted it to, hinting at a much larger accusation than the older man chose to recognize.

"I suppose I just figured with your mother being as stubborn as she is, she would have wanted to take you boys somewhere else, with less bad memories." The Once-ler pursed his lips, scowl deepening at the implied insult to his mother.

"Nope. We stayed. Memories and all." This time the implied anger was too noticeable not to ignore. His father looked away, nodding his head slightly as if to quietly acknowledge Once-ler's mother's strength - a strength he hadn't thought she would be able to uphold.

"That's good. I'm glad she took such good care of you boys." Backing up into the desk, the Once-ler planted his hands on the edge, as if to brace himself for his next question.

"Did you ever remarry?" His father was far too quiet as he thought how to answer.

"Yes,"he finally said. The Once-ler held his breath, his grip on the desk tightening.

"Do you have other kids now?" Again, he said nothing, only anxiously scratched his head. The Once-ler forgot he liked to do that. It was his quirky habit - a sign that he was nervous.

"She can't have children,"he finally said. The Once-ler nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as he tried to hide the hurt on his face. That meant that he had tried. He had tried to replace his three boys with someone else's children.

_It's not like that,_ he tried to tell himself immediately, _He's divorced. He has every right to move on if he wants to._

But he didn't really believe that.

"I'm sorry,"he said robotically, though sorry was the last thing he felt.

"Don't be. I reckon I should count myself lucky that I was able to be a father at all. To be one to you boys, especially." That earned him a forgiving smile, but did nothing to make the ache in the Once-ler's chest ebb away. It was a nice lie. A nice, sweet lie, but a lie nonetheless. He was trying to butter him up, prolong the inevitable by saying only nice things, as if empty compliments could make up for all the deep-rooted pain he had put him through.

The silence in the room was stifling, uncomfortable for them both. His father stood patiently, studying the face of his child with patient attentiveness, while the Once-ler looked fixedly away, his lips tight and his heart hammering inside his chest as he tried to sort through his jumbled emotions.

"Tell me what you're thinking,"his father suddenly said, voice soft and unoffensive. The Once-ler's breath hitched slightly, and slowly he brought his arms back up across his chest, his eyes cold and unexpressive behind that infallible mask.

"I'm thinking you really should have called or warned me you were coming,"he finally murmured.

"You would have said no if you had time to think about it." This was true, but the Once-ler didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to give this man the satisfaction of knowing him.

"I'm thinking of all the hundreds of times I've pictured this moment, and not one of them even comes close to what it actually is." He said it fast and quietly, as if he hadn't quite decided if he wanted his words to be heard or not.

"Once-ler..."

"Forget I said it,"he said quickly, eyes darting back to the ground again, arms digging into his chest.

"I know how distressing this must feel for you right now. I know how confused you must be." At this, the Once-ler shook his head.

"The only thing I'm confused about is why now." He finally raised his gaze to meet his father's, his expression serious and fierce to hide how afraid he felt.

"I just...wanted to let you know that I recognize that I hurt you terribly,"he said slowly, guardedly, "And I think it's about time I let you know that I am truly sorry for taking off like that without saying goodbye." For all the times the Once-ler had dreamed of the day his father would come to him with those words on his lips, they rang surprisingly silent to his ears.

"_That's_ what you're sorry for?"he asked, a small, forced laugh rising up with his voice as he finally turned to look at him. His father shrugged uneasily.

"...Among other things,"he said. The Once-ler pressed his lips tightly together, bracing himself for whatever was about to come next.

"….Then why,"he finally said, shakily, "...Why did you leave in the first place?" It seemed the more he wanted to scream, the quieter his voice came out, as if his efforts to remain cordial were working double time to make sure that he would not be exposed to the one person he yearned to be most exposed to. His father stared at him, flabbergasted.

"Once, you can't possibly think it had anything to do with you,"he said softly with a small shake of his head. The Once-ler felt his arms fall to his sides as he shot him a dark look, his hands balling up in stiff, tight fists.

"What else was I _supposed_ to think when you didn't even give me a reason for leaving?!"he asked, voice so suddenly louder that it made the man jump in surprise.

"Once, it wasn't like that,"he said, "These things happen; it wasn't anybody's fault. Your mom and I...we had problems from the very beginning. I thought you knew that." The tightness was uncoiling, begging to be released into whatever form of emotion it wanted to take on. And the Once-ler knew already that it was going to be ugly.

"Well, I didn't! Nobody told us why you left! Nobody even talked about you! What was I supposed to think when Mom broke down, or when she suddenly wouldn't talk to us for days, or when she asked Uncle Ebb and Aunt Grizelda to move in to take care of us so that she could just sit in her room and cry about how much she didn't want to be a single mom?" His father opened his mouth, then closed it after thinking better of it.

"That's not how it was, Once."

"How would you know? You weren't there!"

"Your mom only wants what's best for you. She wanted to make sure you were being taken care of. She loves you."

"Then why do I always have to wonder?"he shouted back, feeling tears sting stubbornly at his eyes that he would never let fall, "I NEVER had to wonder with you! Not until that day! And you didn't even tell me _why_! You didn't even give me a choice! I would have gone with you if I had known you were leaving and you didn't even give me that option!"

"No you wouldn't have,"he said firmly, "It was right that you stayed with your mom. If I had given you that choice, you would have been confused and only blamed yourself for choosing the wrong parent. I wanted to make the choice for you so you wouldn't have to suffer more than you had to. I couldn't have taken care of you like your mom did, Once, you know that." He was trying to rationalize with him, trying to make him believe that the pain and hurt and nights waking up screaming for someone who was already gone were an accident, an unintentional choice, like a slip and a fall that could be made better with a kiss and a band-aid.

"You left me,"he said simply, finally raising his gaze to meet his father's as the accusations slipped out, "You left me and you never visited, never wrote, never let anyone know where you were or if you were even still alive, never did anything to help Mom even though she was raising _your _kids by herself, and never once tried to find me or anybody else until today. I want to know why."

"You don't know if that's how it really was. I wanted to do all those things, I just"-

"_Stop avoiding the question_!"his son interrupted again, eyes flashing something dangerous, something he had been holding back from the moment Norma had told him he was here in the building. He realized with a sinking feeling that he wanted this to end badly - dreamed of it even. He could keep up the blank stares and quiet responses until he left, but the fact remained that he still had things to say - things he had wanted to say for more than twelve years. The more his father stared at him with that dopey look on his face, trying to justify all that he had done to make the Once-ler sit alone crying to himself on so many nights hating himself because his father did, too, the more he wanted to smack that stupid look on his face. He was the one in power here. This man had, after all, come to him. And he wasn't leaving until he had said what he needed to say.

"Okay, maybe you're right. I probably shouldn't have come after all,"he said slowly.

"And when should you have come, then?"he asked, voice rising, "When I'm what? Thirty? Forty? When I'm too old to remember why I hate you so much? Why now, of all times?!" His father faltered, eyes wide and face blank - a deer in headlights.

"I'm twenty-three, Dad! I'm grown up! I'm past the point where I actually, legitimately need you! I can cook and clean and be there for Mom and do everything that you could have done! I have a business, a career, all the means necessary to take care of myself and our family. So WHY NOW?!"

"Just….calm down, okay?"he finally said, "I'm not here to make excuses. I'm fully aware that what I did was wrong. I just wantto make whatever amends I can." The Once-ler could only respond with a scowl, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as his hands tightened into fists.

"I really, really wish you hadn't come now,"he said finally, opening his eyes to look at his father.

"I'm starting to think I shouldn't have, either,"he said anxiously with another scratch of his head, "Look...I had hoped that enough time had passed that...I don't know. Maybe something would have changed after some time had passed. Things would have somehow resolved on their own with time. That's all." It did nothing to make the Once-ler's anger even slightly less fiery, but it did succeed in making his shoulders relax in a shaking exhale, his hands slowly release themselves from his iron grip. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steadying himself. He was calm enough now that he could put the mask back on.

"I'm really, _really_ angry at you, Dad,"he finally said.

"I can see that."

"I think you're a coward for choosing to come now."

"I'd have to agree with you."

"And I'm glad you're sorry,"he continued, "But I want you to know that I will never forgive you for what you did." The silence that followed was far too unsettling. Neither father nor son knew what to say.

"Alright,"his father finally said calmly, "Okay."

"Also, I want you to hear it from Brett and Chett, too." His father looked up in genuine surprise.

"...What?"

"If you're really sorry, you'll face them, too,"the Once-ler said seriously, glaring the man down as he spoke, "You owe them that much." His father shifted his weight to the other foot, looking nervous.

"...Unless you're only here for me,"he said slowly, studying the man who looked more and more anxious by the second.

"No. No, of course not. I just...didn't think they'd want to see me,"he finally said.

"But you assumed I would?"he asked, tilting his head to the side, "Why? Because you thought success made me immune to everything you put me through?" Neither said anything, but in the silence the Once-ler suddenly lifted his head, eyes widening with sudden realization.

"That's it, isn't it?"he said slowly, "That's why you're here. You figured it was 'safe' to come now that I'm successful and proven that I got by fine without you." His father stared blankly at him, unable to agree or contradict him. He simply stood there, letting his son figure it out for himself.

"Oh gosh, haha. You weren't going to see Brett and Chet,"he said with a forced laugh, raising a hand to blindly rub his forehead, "Wouldn't that be disappointing? To know that they didn't amount to anything more than the empty-headed farmboys you left them as. I can only imagine how embarrassing that would be for you to face them."

"...I said I was sorry."

"Sorry to me, but not to the rest of the family?"he asked, trying to maintain that forced smile but finding he couldn't even do that much. He was past the point of pretending none of this was getting to him. The more he stared at the man with his innocent smile, the angrier he felt.

"When else would you have expected me to come?"his father asked, brow furrowing slightly, "This was hard enough as it was."

"Well, I'm so sorry for the painful sacrifice you had to make,"he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Stop that,"his father suddenly snapped back, "This is exactly why I didn't want to come here. You want me to apologize for what I did so badly, and yet you refuse to accept my apology! I come back, apologize, sit here and listen to you complain about what a horrible person I am, and yet you've already decided that I'm past the point of forgiveness. So what, then? Is a father who came to see his son once better than no father at all? I just did what I thought would make you happiest!"

"And since when did you care about my happiness? Since it was convenient for you to care? Did you just wait around, hoping I'd make something of myself without you so you could come back and justify why you leaving didn't completely ruin your family? I spent so much time coming to terms with the fact that you weren't coming back, and now...,"he trailed off, tightly gripping fistfuls of loose hair, "What do you want me to say? Yes, yes I think no father is better - but that's just because that's what I planned for! What did you even hope to accomplish by coming here other than to mock me and patronize me? Don't you get it? I don't want your apologies or your excuses! I don't want you to stand here and pretend you can fix things, because you CAN'T! You can't and you never will and I HATE YOU FOR EVEN TRYING!"

The room was suddenly way too silent, the space between them far too tense. The Once-ler's chest expanded heavily with every intake of breath, waiting, for what, he didn't know, but knowing that he hated the silence nonetheless and hated that there was nothing this man could say or do that could ever fully fill it.

"Well, I...just thought...trying would be better than doing nothing,"his father finally said, his voice quiet and defeated, "I guess I was wrong." The Once-ler took in the sagging shoulders and sad surrender in his eyes, and he didn't know how he felt about it. This was what he had wanted, he realized. To see his father be sorry for what he had done. To see him pay for what he had put him through. With a slow exhale, he realized that more than anything, more than anything in the world, he had wanted revenge.

And he had gotten it.

The Once-ler stood there in his suddenly too spacious room, feeling weak and vulnerable with his tear-stained face and shaking hands. Suddenly he was wishing he could take back everything he had said so that this encounter could pause and run forever on that first embrace, so that he could still pretend this was just a casual hello, catching up with an old friend, treating his father like he would treat a fellow businessman. But no. He wanted the tension just as badly as he wanted the peace. The only thing he hated was the fact that he could never have both.

He felt his hands slowly unloose themselves from their iron grip and his shoulders relax in a shuddering exhale. His head hurt from shouting, and the tightness in his chest was still too painful, too constricting. He had gotten what he wanted, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it now.

"I didn't mean to cause you and everyone else so much pain. We can just...pretend this visit never happened." The Once-ler pursed his lips, waiting for the heavy silence to dissolve into something more substantial. But of course, it never did. Instead the sound of squeaking shoes forced his gaze up, misty eyes barely able to make out the form of his father turning, moving slowly toward the door. He opened his mouth to call out to him, but no sound came out.

"Dad...,"he mouthed soundlessly, his voice catching in his throat as his father reached for the doorknob. He took a small step forward, not knowing why he wanted him to stay or what he would even say to him, but knowing with sickening clarity that the thought of this man leaving his life for the second time absolutely terrified him. He didn't want this. He didn't want to wake up in his bed a second time and always wonder if his father had ever looked back, ever stopped by his bed to kiss him goodbye or give his decision a second thought.

Even before the tears pooled so thickly he couldn't see, or the door creaked open wider just as he decided to blink, he knew with a sinking realization that he was never meant to know the answer to that question.

"….Goodbye, Once-ler,"was all he heard his father say before the door shut behind him with a small 'click.'

The room was deathly quiet, but the Once-ler's ears were still ringing with the echoes of every hurtful word or poorly calculated jab he had thrown at him, every word he hadn't held back but wished he had. Everything he had said, everything he didn't get the chance to say, suspended over him until the weight of tumultuous emotions suddenly brought his knees to the floor. He was gone, but the tightness in his chest remained, contracting painfully as he bent into himself, tears he had tried so hard to hold back finally able to fall, patting the floor gently as he leaned forward, head lowering as his hands came up to catch it. And in the quiet of his office, with no one else to see or hear him, he finally broke down and cried.


End file.
